Thursday, December 27, 2007

Some Important Questions

                                                 Image Flickr-Radio Rover

The mailbox is overflowing, so let me try to answer some of the important questions today.

Q. Why do you keep writing up short and simple recipes? Don't you know that complicated and expensive is better?
A. Scientists are on the brink of proving once and for all that there is no special place in Heaven reserved for those who spend more time and money on food than others, so I am jumping on the bandwagon early.

Also, to set Heaven aside for a moment (goodness knows we have to) it used to be thought in the world of the profane that sacrifice and struggle made a person more worthy and deserving of all the good things that can come one's way. 

Women (some, not all)  took this notion to heart and have applied it to food throughout history, and it is only in modern times that this concept is being questioned objectively and found wanting. Children do not grow up into finer people based on the fact that they did not eat canned or frozen food while being raised, and grown adults can be absolute assholes even though they may make their bread from scratch and eat only organic free-range happy carrots and purple rice (or alternately, gold Kobe tidbits with silver sha sha sauce).

Q. What was the best thing you ever ate?
A. I often remember the mashed potatoes. I ate them at a pot-luck. They were made by one of the ugliest women you would ever imagine to see - her hair was dank and stringy, she was shaped like a very large rotten pear and she did not seem to brush her teeth well . . . there was always yellow stuff curling up in the far corners here and there. But her mashed potatoes were the best I've ever tasted in my life, and she offered them to the world as if they were "just the usual thing". Her husband was a very good-looking man, in contrast to her - and I have to wonder if the mashed potatoes she made gave him his looks or whether the mashed potatoes she made were her soul shown in a covered hot bowl. If so, then she was gloriously gorgeous, going far beyond what surface he or she had to offer. Could this be true?

Q. What was the worst thing you ever ate?
A. It was a casserole. There it sat on top of the stove humbly prepared. It was a combination of grey ground beef, white bread and Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup tossed together then topped with canned pineapple slices and baked. I know this, for I asked for the recipe. This casserole was made however, by a gorgeous woman - a tall leggy blonde with a beautiful smile, a large happy husband and two good children. To put the icing on the cake the family was also devoutly religious and not pushy about it.

Q. Have you ever eaten a mythical beast?
A. Yes. There's myth everywhere in the air and it often sheds onto things without anyone noticing. I've eaten many mythical beasts. 
I've even known one or two quite well.

Q. Why the "Fast Food Feminist" thing? Why not "Elegant Sublime Woman Cooks"?
A. I'll tell that story on New Year's Day.

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